A Different View
We are diverse and varied, and capable of doing great things—building a business, running a marathon, succeeding at a strawberry tart, or at long studies—but we all go about it differently. Some people go about it very differently, and that's okay!
My kindergarten teacher suspected I was autistic. She was right, but it wasn't until 40 years later that I put a name to my difference and felt the need for a diagnosis. Fundamentally, all collaboration is about mutual support to achieve things that are impossible alone. Whether your collaborator is autistic or not doesn't change this principle. We help each other because the project requires it. For it to work, you just need to understand one thing: a different person works differently. But in the end, it's not better, not worse, and it doesn't cost more!
This section, therefore, will be less serious than it looks. Through short anecdotes, it simply aims to give you a few keys to better understand people like me, and to collaborate just as easily as with anyone else.
To disclose or not to disclose?
For an autistic person, the best strategy is often not to talk about it, as few people understand what one is trying to explain. To illustrate what 'seeing things differently' means, let's use an analogy with colors.
Imagine that, like the 99% of non-autistic people, you perfectly distinguish green from blue, but I cannot see that difference. It's troublesome. To adapt, we develop tricks and rely on experience to compensate.
But also imagine that I can see nuances between red and violet, and you cannot. A nuance that only 1% of the population, autistic people, can perceive. Society, built by the majority, has organized itself in such a way that this nuance is irrelevant.
So, I can either spend my time hiding that I am not quite like you, or we can work with this difference, to work better together, and better appreciate one another.
When an autistic person thinks differently, it happens at a fundamental level. Even for a simple greeting, sometimes I have to think... 'Okay, I'm seeing this person for the first time today, I greet them... how... option 1: shake hands, it's back despite covid, but there's still option 2, bumping fists or elbows, option 3: 'la bise' (the cheek kiss), but be careful at work... but-- what the heck? --it's my girlfriend!' (it was...)
I often appear physically rigid, and this is a trait shared with many autistic people. More generally, it's a difference in body language traits; where most people are more mobile, naturally, in their body movements when communicating, also with rich facial expressions, for us, our nature is to be still. It's quite difficult to pretend not to be autistic (this is called masking) and to make sure to blink often enough, to frown a little from time to time, to smile appropriately and at the right moment... However, what often happens in video calls is that the person I'm talking to thinks my screen has frozen when I'm listening intently!